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SmeagulTheWeasul
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Name: Smeagul
Gender: Female
Interests:
Drawing
Reading
Writing
Watching movies
Hanging with my friends
Scaring random strangers
Cosplaying
Playing RPGs and DDR on my PS2 and PS1
Oddessy of the Mind
And anime.
Expertise: Ink Blot Tests
Occupation: Other
Industry: Other
Message: message meEmail: email me
AIM:  NoRoom4Normal
Member Since:
6/4/2005
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| "And Osiris and the gods of the Nile Gathered up a big storm To blow a hurricane, To scatter us away
I hope everyone had a great 4th of July. Mine was great. Had much fun at Brendii's party. I learned that I suck at table tennis and that Apples to Apples is an amazingly fun game.
I've had a few thoughts recently and I'm going to write them down so that I don't forget them.
1) I'm going to become a notary. Mom says I probably have to wait to be 21 to be one, so I'll bide my time and study up on it. I just think it would be totally cool to be a notary. I couldn't notorize my own stuff or my family's, but friends are free game. I'm not sure if that's a job or whatever or if I can make any money from notorizing stuff, but I figure I could be a notary in my spare time when I'm a book publisher. (Speaking of that, I should get to reading that book on publishing soon....)
2) I think being a stay- at- home parent should be a paid job. That way, more people would stay at home with their young children and maybe we could improve our society. Now, two parents go out and work and either leave their kids with a nanny-type person or come home and set their kids in front of the television and leave them there because they are too tired to hang out with the kids. It would have to either be a private enterprise or a government paid thing, but since the government sucks and we are a capitalist country, it would have to be a private enterprise. Which is cool, except that it would have to have some kind of profit and I can't think of any other than the betterment of society. Any ideas.
On another note, since I didn't want to subject myself to literary torture, I'm reading the "[push me off a] cliff notes" of the Twilight Saga. Twilighters scare me. Seriously. SMeyer is a misogynist of the worst kind and cannot write to save her life. Seriously. I haven't read the books, I know, but from the quotes I've seen, I'm glad I haven't. Instead, I'm getting a chapter by chapter recap from these "cliff notes" from an intelligent individual. Not only do these books not have a plot, but SMeyer has no idea how real people work. Romance does not equal stalking, violence, and emotional abuse. And Bella is a Mary Sue of the worse kind. Her only "flaw" is that she's incredibly clumsy, but even that doesn't count because apparently she can survive crashing face first off of a motorcycle and not have to go to the hospital. I won't even go into SMeyer's version of the vampire. They aren't vampires. They're sparklepires.
Patrick says I'm obsessed with these books. I am. I'm obsessed with hating them. I'm reading these "cliff notes" so that I can argue against the books whenever I meet a Twilighter. Little girls should not be reading these and be saying "Edward is so awesome!" or "I want to be just like Bella!" No. Nooooooo! We do not need abusive men being glorified and we do not need a generation of girls growing up thinking it's okay to fall into a catatonic state after being broken up or thinking that it's romantic to commit suicide after your boyfriend leaves you or dies. Ugh!
Anyway, I'm done with that.
Hahahahha.
So: Update on my room.
We primed and painted the walls and it is currently bug free. We're working on getting my sister's room bug free and cleaned out so that we can paint her room. After the painting, we're going to put down new carpet. (Sarah doesn't get new carpet. We're putting her old carpet over the new stuff in her room. ; P) I took my couch-futon out of Sarah's room and it's now sitting in the middle of my room as a bed. Yay, bed! I haven't had a bed since school! I was either on the floor at Pat's or on my couch-futon. I've been having back problems and trouble sleeping well, so hopefully problem solved. I'm going to get a personal fan soon, so that I won't be hot when I'm sleeping. (You guessed correctly. Josh destroyed the ceiling fan.) It's getting better, guys.
I'm going to go read my "How to make sewing patterns" book and see if I can learn anything.
Talk to you guys later!
Love,
Smeagul
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| You all need to see Hedwig and the Angry Inch.I am home from MO!
Hurray!
On my first night back, I went to wally world, bought a game and walked around with Patrick.
After I went home I made Texas Toast and ate dougnuts. Then, I installed the Sims 2 (hahaha, I'm so behind!), and after Patrick went home, played said game until 9AM. HAHAHAHAHA.
Yay 4 hours of sleeeeeep!
Just lettin ya'll know that I"m home and that my trip was safe and good and cool. And that if I'm not available, it's because I'm playing the Sims 2. ^____________________^
Anywayayayaya,
Love ya!
Smeagul | | |
| "I'm on a boat!"I'm gonna copy Master Russia and let ya'll know what my grades are!
P.S. I'm finally home!!
German 102: A
Recreational Dance: A
Meteorology/Climatology w/lab: A-
Concepts and Methods of Cultural Anthropology: A-
Poetry: B-
I actually did much better than I thought I was. Hurray!!
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| "1-800-Suicide; Or maybe Doctor Online could help you die; you need wings to fly; you need someone t
Hey guys!
Things have gotten decidedly better since my last rant. Thanks for your support guys! You're awesome!!
I can't wait to see everyone!! I'm coming home on MAY 6!! Hurray!!
Sadly, that's also the day of 'Lina's surgery. I hope she's okay!! o.o'
So, you know how things were so awesome with Lauren before? Not you, Rikki. The Georgia-Lauren. Well, that's done with. Apparently, she's a bitch. Ugh. It either took me a crazy long time before I discovered it, or she's changed since Winter Break.
I'm leaning toward both, actually. Which, if you think about it is impossible; I'd have to be standing straight in the middle of them. Anyways, we had a "family meeting" between Lauren, Candice and I, where Lauren was like "I've been such an ass! I promise not to do it again!" Because she'd been spending all her time with her all- of- a- sudden new besties, Tu Ahn and Elaina. Well, it got a little better, and then it got worse. She stopped talking to me all together. I'd see if she wanted to go to lunch or to dinner with me, like we always did, but she'd be going with her new friends at a later time. I'd go to her room to hang out or whatever and she'd be gone. Ugh.
Well, this is where it gets odd and depressing and frustrating and all sorts of other random adjectives. She thinks that her new besties are having problems, so she decides to just stop talking to one of them. o.0 Okay, whatever. Well, instead of coming back to me, apologizing, and moving on with life, she goes back to Kevin.
Let me tell you about Kevin. He's a dick. His mom works in the higher world of Walmart (marketing or some such), so he's got a bunch of money. He doesn't waste an opportunity to wax poetic about his money or his mommy. Frankly, I think he digs his mommy, Oedipus style. He tries to win people over with his money. He also butters the toast of any adult he meets on campus. He bought his adviser expensive chocolate for getting him whatever he wanted at school. He's best friends with the RLC (enough to be talking about his love life or lack thereof...) and because of that he's going to be an RA next year. He's the pussiest boy I've seen since Rorick King back in Gifted Studies. Seriously.
Anyway, Lauren professedly hates this kid. Well, nowadays, they're never apart. She went from "No, she doesn't want to go out with him" and "she nearly got into a fight with the RLC because he told her that they wanted to RA in the same building and she never said that" to eating with him at every meal and going to his room.
So, not only is this girl choosing him over me, but now she doesn't talk to me, doesn't make eye-contact with me, and runs from me whenever she sees me because she's a coward who can't look at anyone she has a problem with or say what bothers her about a person to their face. No, this girl talks behind other's backs like no other. Apparently, she does this even when supposedly friends with a person. After telling me to my face that I look great, she told Candice behind my back that I apparently don't look good getting thinner (I've been working out on the elliptical every night, recently). >.<
Whatever, I can't be friends with someone who is going to drop me without notice, talk shit about me behind my back, and be a general all -around douche bag. I just can't stand it. She's so self absorbed and obsessed with her mom's money and can't go one day without talking badly about people she's never even met. In fact, I'm going to laugh when she starts dating Kevin, because they're perfect for one another. Anyway, that's what's been happening on that front.
I've been hanging out more with Candice and Amanda, lately. Yesterday, we all three went to Wal-Mart (they say it "the Walmart" here! ^.~). Amanda and I got hair dye. She's going to re-dye hers black and we both got fuchsia dye to streak through our hair. ^_^ Woo! We're going to do it tomorrow, hopefully. We were going to do it today, but we pretty much wasted our day away. She spent the day at Big Campus because she had a psych appointment and I spent the day reading Sailor Moon manga. >.>
After dinner, Aritra (She sat at our table for dinner) and I went and walked around the campus. We visited where we would be living next year. We also visited two of her friends, which was entertaining, if anything. We grabbed some food from the library (free food for finals! YAY ALLITERATION!!!) and wrote all over the walls with an expo marker in one of the study rooms. I tried to get Lola Rennt, but it had already been checked out. That's a movie in German, by the way. We saw the beginning of it in class and it was pretty interesting.
Speaking of finals, those have been fine. Not too difficult. Not too much studying. I only have to take the weekend to study for Geology for Monday and the rest of Monday, I'll be fixing my Ethnography for Anthropology to turn in by 2PM Tuesday. Then, I'll be packing for the rest of the night to leave on Wednesday. I'm probably going to also take Tuesday to say goodbye to everyone, because I'm not sure when they are leaving or when my mom will be getting here to take me away.
So, to get back to Today: after I came back from my random walk with Aritra, I spent the next hour playing Kingdom of Loathing online, which is amazing game if you're ever bored! ^_^ At 9PM, Amanda and I went to the anime club's study break at the student center. They had pizza that a ton of people only came to eat and then left. The rest of us who are actually interested in anime/video games stayed. They had Mario Kart, Smash Brothers, and Guitar Hero going on, but most of us sat and watched the Afro Samurai movie on the big screen. It was really good. And the commentary by some of the guys was hilarious. Especially parts where the scantily clad female antagonist was working her charms on this mostly robotic evil professor dude.
Seni: "Man, he just jizzed all over his motherboard."
The guy gets thrown to the ground by the lady and she steps on him with one foot.
Seni: "That'll ruin the mood."
Amanda: "I don't know, I think he got a good look up her skirt there."
We see that the lady's skirt is very short and there is no way that the guy is not looking up and getting an eyefull.
Me: "I'd say that's more than a good look."
It was really fun. I had a great time.
I've just been hanging out since then. I'm thinking I should go to bed in the next hour or so. We're maybe going to the mall tomorrow and may or may not see the X-Men movie. In between that, I'll be doing some major studying about climates and biomes for my test. ^_^
Anyway, I hope everyone is doing great! I can't wait to see ya'll! Love ya!
Smeagul
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| "Knock me out..."
I feel like every time I come and type up my life anymore, it's not to tell you guys about how awesome it's been. Patrick tells me I need to get over my hormones (>.<) and stop being so upset all the time. Fine, whatever.
Because it has to be hormones and can't just be that I've been over -stressed and over- lonely these past few weeks.
It's not like my hormones aren't more regulated than a mans'. No. Anytime a woman is upset it's "hormones." Whenever a man is upset, it's because "he has a lot to be upset about." Forget that misogynistic shit that the industry feeds you. It's not fucking true. And don't tell me "Oh, but--!" No. If you believe it, then it's a self-fulfilling prophecy. So go ahead and believe it if you want an excuse, but that's really all it is. A lame excuse.
I'm not hormonal! I'm fucking upset!
My life has had a predictable cycle to it ever since High School started. Good things happen that start to pull me and my family out of the rut we've been living in. Then something bad happens that starts the avalanche that sets us further back than we originally began.
Before Christmas break, I had Candice and Lauren to hang out with. I was getting good grades in my classes. There was a lot of work, but it was a manageable workload. I was really enjoying my time at school.
Gradually, I've been losing Candice and Lauren. No fights, no drama. They've just both been really busy with school. Instead of all of us doing our homework together, though, Candice has been hanging out with Gene and Farhan and Lauren has found Tu Ahn and Elaina. People in their classes that they can hang out with and study with at the same time. Not only have they been busy, but they've been going through roommate related drama. That fucking hairdryer. And Candice, being the one taking 22 hours, developed an eating disorder, an ear infection, and asthma.
I got a new roommate, who is awesome. We spend a lot of daylight hours together. But she goes to bed around 8 PM, sometimes. So for the rest of the night, I'm alone. Every, single day.
My workload has increased, as well. We've gone from 2 page response papers in Anthro to 5 page book analysises. Poetry papers have to be 800 words long, no matter the length or content of the poems. They also have to be written "concisely," so no b.s. word filler. Tuesdays and Thursdays, 100 pages have to be read in the ethnographies we are reading in Anthropology. I have to keep up with my Geology notecards, so that I can study for the tests we have because I don't have time to read the chapters. I'm freaking out about dance because we go over two dances a week and then don't pick them up again. The written final is going to be next week and I haven't a clue what's going to be on it. My German professor's usual method of "teaching" is to give us homework and then go over what we did wrong. Lately, she's been giving us a ton of homework, but has just moved onto the next subject without going over any of the work. This time, her method of teaching is "just memorize it." I'm sorry that it's difficult to do the 2 and a half hours of homework that she assigns for each of the 4 days of classes there are every week, my other homework, and ALSO memorize the German textbook. Not only that, but my professor is behind in HER work, so she takes it out on us. We're going to have to do our oral test as well as go over the midterms and compositions that we took before Spring Break. Am I forgetting anything?
Oxford thinks I'm lying about not having a father. They denied my petition to waive the non-custodial parent form because I didn't have enough proof. It took them 3 weeks to tell me that, when they told me it would take only a week. We're appealing the decision. We gave them every bit of information or paperwork that we thought would be pertinent. Now, we're racing against the deadline. It's not like we were the ones lallygagging, but if they deny us again, I'm not going to get the financial aid that I need to come back next semester. My mom has stressed this point to the point of stressing me. (Nice word play, huh?) She wants me to find the time during the week to go up and bug the financial aid people about it. What the hell does she want me to ask? "Excuse me, but have you held the committee to go over my petition yet? I'm too impatient to wait for the e-mail that you're going to send me with the answer."
My grandpa is in the hospital. It was a urinary tract infection, at first. He just got a pacemaker put in today. Not preventative measures. Only one of the three nerve bundles was working in his heart and not in a stellar fashion, either. The doctors also think he's got diminished mental capacity, so they want to put him in a nursing home for good. My grandma, irrationally, believes that he's doing this to hurt her or make her work harder. My mom is upset because it's her father and she can't believe the way her mother is handling the situation. I never liked the guy, but he's my grandpa. Not only is he family, but he's stressing out the other members of my family.
So, recently everything has been piling up on me to the point where my whole life focuses around homework. I'm always by myself. Patrick doesn't want to talk to me because when I'm worried or stressed about something I talk about it a lot, so I'm always talking about school. He think we don't anything to relate to anymore, but it's not my fault that he answers all of my questions that would lead to a conversation with "Nothing" or "Fine."
I haven't been sleeping, either...
I wake up exhausted.
And I'm not telling you all this just for attention. I don't care whether you think I need to buck up and deal with it or whatever. I just want someone to fucking say "Wow, Barbara. You're working really hard. It must be difficult. Good luck with all of that." I want people to understand that it's not just because of hormones that I'm upset. I'm not fucking over reacting because college is difficult. I'm upset because I'm tired, I'm stressed, I'm lonely, and I'm homesick. I have no time for anything anymore. Not even homework. I'm at that place where there is so much homework to be done, but there is not enough time for it to be done in.
Whatever, I'm heading out now.
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