SmeagulTheWeasul's Xanga

"Stand up if you need love..."

Thu, 12 Nov 2009 23:59:25 GMT

Well, turns out I'm not allergic to my medication. Yet. I don't want to jinx it. I'm still on only 25 mg. I up the dose after Saturday. I can't wait to get to the full 200 mg. I really want this stuff to start working. I'm really tired of this randomly depressed thing. I don't know why, but it gets worse at night. I'll be fine all day, but at night, someone will say something or I'll be alone and suddenly I'm just so down and out. I'd say it's because I'm not getting enough sleep, but I've been trying to go to bed earlier to get more sleep. Doesn't help that my medication makes me so darn tired. I'd say I got enough sleep last night, but my eye is twitching and it usually only does that when I'm tired. *shrug*

I'm not likely to get much sleep this weekend, either. Last weekend was pretty busy/stressful/ugh, but this weekend, I'm literally busy with something different every day. Tomorrow, I go to History and take a test. Then I go to work for three hours. I'll be stuck in a closet for those three hours, trying in vain to put the costumes and props into some semblance of order. I don't know why we're doing this. If Dr. Le- would just lock the door, we wouldn't have to clean it up so often. Also, if the actors or whoever is in charge of costuming could actually put the costumes and such back where they got them, that would be super. Ugh. It's so creepy being down there by myself. I'm in a closet in, basically, the basement. It's dusty and filled with strange fake body parts and bloody baby heads and stuff. Ick. It should be illegal to stick a person in a closet for three hours.

After work, I get to do more research for my history paper. Six to eight page paper on "Why Americans should celebrate Columbus Day" (My topic, of course. I can talk about cannibals.). The sucky part of it is that I've got to do the research from only book sources. So I had to go and check out at least six books and now I've got to go through them and pick out interesting stuff about Columbus. I can't stand people who don't allow book resources. I understand if a professor wants to teach us how to use the library system, but that's why we have Freshman Writing courses. Dr. Li- says that he feels "students would be lost if they couldn't get on the computer and type in words to a search engine." Idiot, by now, we know not to site Wikipedia or non-academic sources. Anyway, I'm in the middle of writing an essay about that, so I won't rant too much here.

I'll probably hit dinner before I'm supposed to show up to work the Andy Irwin event. I specifically signed up for his event, because the last time I attended, it was hilarious. I bought two of his CDs. I can't buy anything anymore due to my financial situation, but it'll be great just to go. And I don't have to usher. I can actually do what I signed up for and be a tech assistant! Yay! Not that I'll have much to do. Wm will have set up all the equipment. Most I'll have to do is take tickets and then wrap all the cords up at the end. Oh well.

After that, I'll be off to get dressed and ready. I bought my ticket for Fall Formal today. Haha. Took me that long to decide that I was going to go. I'm probably going to hang around with my roommate and her friends, since I don't have any of my own. I'm a little worried/sad, because unlike the club, there probably won't be anyone who wants to dance with me, specifically. But I won't focus on that. I'm sure it'll be fun dancing with the girls. I've been dying to go dancing for a long while. Yesterday, I put my headphones on and got on the elliptical and just imagined that I was dancing instead. I'm so lame. Oh well.

We're going to be really late/early getting back to Oxford. Then I've got to focus on getting more research done, doing my psychology with Ricky, and writing up my Anthropology exam. That next weekend is going to be really busy, too. What the heck? I'll have to write a five page paper for Psychology, still be doing research, go to the Psychiatrist, spend the night with Amanda, come back to Oxford to go to the mall (I want to try on dresses at hot topic!), go back to Amanda's place and play video games on her new PS3, and do even more psychology homework. It never ends!

At least I get to go home for Thanksgiving. I won't really be able to see anyone, since break is only four days long. I'm really excited to see my mom, who I know is excited to see me. Actually, the only people who have expressed any sort of excitement over me coming home is my mom and my aunt. Whoo! (Remind me why I'm coming home again?) I shouldn't have any homework to worry about over the break (except last minute history research). I'm still worrying about how I'm going to get myself from the airport to Oxford again, after the break. If I can get to Emory, I would be set, because I could get on the shuttle to my campus. I just need some way to get to Emory. And since I have no friends, I have no one I could ask to pick me up or drop me off anywhere. Yay!

...Anyway...

*sigh*

It's time to take my meds and I've got to get back to studying/research. I want to finish going through this book by tonight and it's an early night tonight. Early class tomorrow.

Also, guys. Check out www.symphonyofscience.com. It's awesome.

Bye.
Smeagul

Update

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 02:06:58 GMT

Well, it's not much of an update, but more of an informative gesture.

So, I've been seeing the counselor here at Oxford for the last three-four weeks. She sent me to the psychiatrist at Emory on Friday. I'm now on medication. It's called Lamictal and it's an anti-convulsant. Don't worry, guys. I don't have any problems with seizures. Apparently, psychiatry is a lot like magic. A medication that they use for one specific purpose can also work for other purposes without any explanation. No, I don't have seizures. I am bi-polar. Yippee! They actually use this sort of medication as a mood stabilizer for people who have more depressive episodes than manic ones.

I'm on day four of my medication and I'm supposed to keep gradually upping the dose until I'm at 200 milligrams. Apparently, taking too much at once can increase the risk of getting a fatal/seriously damaging rash. The kind where your skin can start flaking off. Niiiiice. The medication itself isn't supposed to start showing effects until after eight weeks, when I should be at the 200 milligram mark.

I have lab work tomorrow morning, which is actually a good thing at this point because I think I might be allergic to the medication. The roof of my mouth itches and there are a few small cuts there that have come out of nowhere. My throat actually started hurting after I took today's dose, which is probably a bad thing. That's how I learned that I'm allergic to peppermint- my throat started to hurt after I ate it. I don't know if I'm just being paranoid, but I've noticed that my skin has been itching all over. The funny thing is, these are all symptoms of a food allergy and I'm not sure whether an allergy to medication would produce the same effects.

So, I need to get in contact with the student health services at both schools and see whether or not I'm allergic. If I am, this whole thing starts over again only I can't take medicines that my brother and sister have been on (the anti-convulsants). I just hope I don't have to go on lithium or anything like that because they have to constantly check blood chemistry to make sure a person has the correct amount. My mom doesn't want me to be on anti-depressants, but that may be what they have to resort to in order to replace the Lamictal.

Ugh, I'm so tired of seeing doctors and counselors and psychiatrists. I really hoped that this would work and I could just get on with my life. Hopefully, I'm just being paranoid. I'll get it checked out and find out what I should do from there.

I'm trying not to be ashamed of it, so that's why I'm putting this here for everyone to see, if anyone still reads this at all. Just thought it information that my friends should have, just to know, y'know? I'm having a bit of difficulty in accepting it, but I'll get there.

Anyway, I just wanted to let you guys know.
Talk to you later,
Love,
Smeagul

"Stand up if you feel ashamed; You are not alone when you hurt this way; Stand up! Stand up if you n

Sun, 01 Nov 2009 07:20:37 GMT

I've had a pretty fantastical weekend. I really needed to talk about it, but since its 2AM (YESSS, for once Daylight Savings Time doesn't kill me!) there's no one available. They're either dead asleep or still partying. What the hell, it's All Hallow's Eve. Let them celebrate as they will. So, next best thing: Xanga. Huzzah.

My weekend started on Friday. I had to skip class (I only have one on Fridays) to wait for a taxi. Yup. Chilly out and windy and I'm standing in the breezeway of Beta and the Student Health Services buildings waiting for an un-marked car to pick me up. Not sketch at all.

I did learn that taxi drivers do, indeed, talk to one as they drive. Seriously, mister, I really did not need to know that you got yourself a sinus infection when you mowed your lawn. Also, GPS devices can make any person into a taxi driver. The guy didn't know how to get from Oxford to Atlanta without it. *shug* It's whatev. I wasn't paying for it. It was fine for a one-way drive. At least he didn't try to kidnap me. ^_^

He did try to kill me, though. He could have let me off in the parking section of the Emory campus Student Health Services building, but no. He lets me off in front of the building in the middle of morning traffic. At an intersection where the light has just changed from red to green. Hurray.

You guys are probably wondering what I am doing in front of the Student Health Services buildings. Or you could have just skipped over that as unimportant blather. Either's fine. But if you were wondering, the answer is: I'm preggers.

...

...

...

JUST FUCKING KIDDING.

HAHAHAHAH.

Seriously, folks, I'm just seeing the psychiatrist.

Well, I went from just seeing the counselor at Oxford to seeing a psychiatrist at Emory. And, of course, there was no communication between them. My counselor could have just explained the situation to the psychiatrist, but no. I had to explain the whole situation over again. Which, I understand to a certain extent. They can't prescribe anything when they haven't heard the story from the patient's mouth. However, they could at least skip over that whole "And what brings you here today?" question.

Anyway, the meeting lasted more than the 50 minutes my counselor guesstimated it would take. More than an hour later, I left the building with a prescription for Lamictal, two more appointments with the psychiatrist, and a list of labs I need to have done over at Oxford. And, oh yeah, it's raining. It's cold and raining and I've only got my jacket and a backpack with my computer in it. Also, I have no idea where I am. Whee!

I didn't really have any trouble finding the DUC, though. I kind of vaguely wandered until I saw construction that looked familiar. Go me! When I got there, there was some sort of magical party happening. There were ducks everywhere. Duck balloons. A giant inflatable duck. A MAN IN A DUCK SUIT WEARING A DUCK SHIRT. He walked right past me!! o.o I never found out what the duck party was for. I was talking to my mom until Amanda called and told me she'd come find me in a moment.

We went back to her apartment and put on our costumes. We were dressed as cats. I took a more Rocky Horror take on my costume and Amanda was more gothic-punk. I was wearing my combat boots, black pants, white t-shirt, black vest, and kitty ears. I also did my make-up. Had lots of lime-green eyeshadow over my eyes, across the bridge of my nose, and out to my temples. Also made really noticeable lines across my cheek bones in pink blush and put on my 10-hour pink lip stick. I took my eyeliner and made some fun designs at the corners of my eyes. I did Amanda's eye make-up like mine, only hers was in purple.

I got to sit in on her Religion class around 2PM. It was mystical. I've seen her professor twice, but I've never seen the REAL him. Seriously, folks. I don't even know what his hair looks like. Both times I've seen him, he's been dressed as a Rivendale elf, from Lord of the Rings. He calls himself the Rivendale Janitor. ^_^ His costume is quite good, complete with dagger, which we passed around class before it started. Dr. R is mystical. There's no other word for it. All I know about him is that he's British, teaches Religion classes at Emory, he's going to self-publish novels, he's never seen Rocky Horror Picture Show (and doesn't want to) and he can't draw horses. Funny thing is, that's as much as Amanda knows about him and she's been taking the class all semester! o.o;;

On the way back from class, we inevitably met up with Seni. It doesn't matter. Every day that I go to Emory with all of the thousands of students on the campus, I see both Seni and Tola at one point or another. I glomped him (Amanda said I tore of my cat ears dramatically when I was running to hug him, but they're just impossible to keep one while running.) We got on the shuttle all together and he followed us back to Amanda's apartment. We ended up showing him two episodes of Coupling before he had to leave. Amanda was sitting in the computer chair by the desk and Seni and I were sitting on her bed. There were some moments in the show that were so funny that Seni and I were basically draped over each other, laughing. I LOVE Coupling!

Seni went to go eat dinner with someone (that boy is the busiest thing I've ever seen on two legs) and Amanda and I decided to go out to eat at Everybody's Pizza. She hadn't gone before and I've gone thrice. I love that place. It's a little expensive, but totally worth going to eat. It didn't help that I found out that they have raspberry lemonade, which is the most expensive drink next to alcohol. Damn, it was good though. I got the vegetable pizza sandwich, which is one of my favorite things ever to eat, now.

Amanda and I walked back to campus and took pictures as we went. Neither of us had pictures of the Emory campus. We watched Coupling and talked. I was just so tired, that I was falling asleep during the discussion. I felt bad, but no matter what I did, I was falling asleep. So we went to bed a little early, by our standards.

Got up later today, so we didn't rush to get onto the noon shuttle back to Oxford. Instead, we got onto the shuttle after watching some more Coupling, and hung out at the DUC until the shuttle came. We met up with Hyun Chung, who was in my dance class last year. (We, of course, also see Tola eating there.) We ate dinner at the DUC (nachos and a piece of pizza, both delicious next to Lil's food). When I got back to my room, my roommate and Sara were getting ready to go out. Jessica was dressed as a slutty nurse and Sara was dressed as a French maid. They were going clubbing and invited me to go along. So I got ready quite quickly and off we went.

We had to find Tara before we went, who was Trick or Treating. We had no idea where she was except for the street she was on, so Sara and Fielding were shouting her name out the windows at the trick or treaters. SOOO funny. They were getting pissed! But we finally found her and forced her into the car. She was dressed as Twister ("Left hand on green" Twister, not a tornado). (Fielding was dressed as a sailor, by the way.) We had to get gasoline on the way and that would have been unnecessary to include if the car we passed by didn't have people having sex in it. Yes, a lady was quite definitely giving a man a blow job right in the middle of a gas station. We circled around so we could see it again. ^_^

Anyway, the club was really fun. It started off slow, because the live band was playing Salsa music. Out of all of the ballroom dances I've briefly been taught, I've never learned Salsa. It wasn't really a problem until one of the guys there wanted to dance with me. I think one of them got frustrated that I couldn't figure the dance out (seriously, I can't hear your instructions when we're dancing underneath one of the speakers), because he left in the middle of the song to get a drink and never came back. Oh well. *shrug* He was unimportant. When they started to play more hip-hop music and it got more crowded as the night went on, there were a lot more guys who wanted to dance with me. Two of them were gentlemen and asked me if I wanted to dance before doing so. One of them didn't mind that I sucked at Salsa (when they played a random song).

There's no other place where you understand how creepy guys can be until you've gone clubbing. I've used the word "guys" when describing the people dancing with me. I'm pretty sure all of them that I danced with were in their late twenties and thirties. And most of them would just come up behind me when I was dancing and push themselves up behind me. Let's just say there was a lot of excitement going on.

One dude was a real creep. He started dancing with me and then left and then came back again a few minutes later. His excitement was really ... noticeable. So I grabbed Tara and danced with her and when the guy came up behind me while I was dancing with her I mouthed "Don't let go!" Tara's such a sweetheart, she pulled me away to dance with her in a different spot. The guy got the hint after that. Another guy did the same thing where he just came up behind me out of nowhere. He had my hands in his and had wrapped both of our arms around me and he was holding on pretty tight. That was fine, until his fingers started to wander toward the buttons on my shirt. He tried to stick his fingers into my shirt, but I moved our arms away. A song later, my legs were starting to hurt, so I turned around and danced with him face to face. Finally, I see what this guy looks like!

Of course, dancing face to face means we have to talk all of a sudden. He asked me what my name was and a bunch of other questions. I told him my name was Barbie and that I live in Florida and was only in Georgia visiting for the week. He told me his name was Antonio and that he was in his 30's. He also kept telling me that I was really pretty and beautiful. Thanks, Antonio. Just what I need to hear from a drunk 30 year old.

Despite the creepiness of guys, it was really fun going clubbing. I would totally do it again. I loooove dancing. The creeps and the coming out smelling like alcohol and cigarettes is totally worth it. Especially when you're with a fun group of people. We all stuck together the whole time (even when we girls were asked to dance by the men- folk) and helped each other out when we needed it.

Well, now it's REALLY late. I've got soooooo much homework to do, it's not even funny. Tomorrow will be a blast, but hey, I had a great weekend otherwise.

I hope you all had a great Halloween!!
Love,
Smeagul

"Hush child, the darkness will rise from the deep and carry you down to sleep..."

Sun, 11 Oct 2009 19:13:03 GMT

Wow, I'm bored, guys.

It's fall break, so most people have gone home. There aren't any classes on Monday or Tuesday. So I've got all this time on my hands and nothing to do. Well, that's a lie. I could get really ahead with homework, but I reallly don't even want to think about that until Monday and Tuesday. There's just nothing going on today.

Friday and Saturday were really fun, though. I went to Emory on Friday. Amanda and I saw Seni on the way to the bookstore and talked for a little while. We wanted to check out the bookstore since it became Barnes and Noble recently. They've got some really great stuff there. I'm really excited about it. It's still amazingly expensive, but all bookstores are. Amanda got a shirt and a triangular flag and she also bought me a hunter green gel pen and a tiny triangular flag that's mostly gold, but has the crest and says "Emory University" in blue. I really like it.

We walked to CVS and then went to Doc Chey's which is my favorite Asian restaurant. I got the chicken fried rice, which is more than enough. It comes in a big bowl with snow peas, carrots, peas, onions, and chicken. The piece of lime also adds a lot to it. It's very, very delicious. There's quite enough left over for another meal, so the price isn't bad at all.

We went back to her apartment and she showed me a few demos for games on her PSP. I colored her hair again. It came out really good this time. I think the last one had been mislabeled, because it came out more brown than red and it came out really oddly. Amanda got a call from this girl she knows, who asked her to come up to her birthday party. She'd just turned 21. So, we went. Stayed only about 30 minutes. Most of the people there were drunk or getting there. There were wayyyy too many people in the tiny apartment and it was incredibly loud. Amanda and I found the gamer corner (trust us to) and that's where we stayed the whole time. It was kinda fun, considering I knew basically nobody.

After the party, we watched Coupling again. I looooove that show. We stayed up until around 2AM and then went to bed. The next day, we got up and got ready to go back to Oxford. We got smoothies for breakfast and drank them as we waited for the shuttle. We saw Candice baking muffins when we came into my building. She made pumpkin, coconut, pecan, and chocolate chunk muffins. Mmmmmmmm. Very yummy. We invited Candice to come to the mall with us and she said she would.

So, I left Amanda to draw/talk with my roommate and took a shower. I got ready and we got Candice and we got on the shuttle. Candice had put on a dress because she knows that Amanda and I dress up to go to the mall. I was only wearing my green shirt and shorts, but I had put on my cat ears, my fishnet gloves, my combat boots, and had put on some make-up. Amanda was wearing her new Emory shirt with Dooley the skeleton on it, with her black mini skirt with skull suspenders and black leggings. So we decided that we were Candice's entourage and that she was the ambassador of the van because she sat in the passenger seat.

We got to the mall and had to take pictures immediately. The fire brigade were there, along with the police, and even the SWAT team. It was for kids, so don't worry. Of course, we asked if we could take a look inside the SWAT truck. So we got in and poked around. We got to hold the police shield and we took pictures with it. Really cool. Candice said that she'd like one for when she does rounds as the RA.

Anyway, we visited Game Stop, then Claire's (where Amanda bought a black and purple boa for her Halloween costume), then Wet Seal (Where I finally found a black vest in Large! I knew I could count on Georgia to have them), then we split up so that Amanda and I could visit Hot Topic (Their Halloween selection sucks here) and Candice could go look for jeans. No luck for either party. We went to the food court and got more Asian food. Yum. Then we had to get back because Candice needed to go on duty and Amanda needed to catch the shuttle back to Emory.

I chilled for the rest of the night. Watched The Dark Knight and painted my finger nails. They're a dark garnet color. They look pretty spiffy. I didn't cut/file them in the same way I usually do, but I'm happy with the result. Did my laundry. Talked to Patrick for a little while, before I went to bed.

Now, I haven't got anything to do, but homework. Uck. That's not fun. I'll probably start with Psychology, so I can get it out of the way for Wednesday. Probably start the summary essay paper for the class too, so I don't have to worry about it until it's due on the 30th. I've gotta look at the history papers he sent us so I can pick a topic and maybe start looking for books. Research papers are such a drag when we're basically forced to use 6-8 books from our library. Problem is, the Oxford Library isn't like the libraries over at Emory. So we have to order them and wait a week for them to ship here before we can use them. Ewwy. Not looking forward to it. I doubt the lab for Anthropology will be opened for the break, so I'll have to put that off. If there are articles to read, I'll do that for Thursday.

Tomorrow, I'll probably go into work. Might go in on Tuesday too, if I feel like it. We'll be helping Wm in the theatre, so that'll be fun. And it'll kill some time. And, I can also take off work during the week if I work more than four hours before Wednesday. I'm working Mr. Oxford this weekend. I should look up when the rehearsal for that is. I kind of hope that no one else has volunteered, but knowing Danielle, she'll make some freshman do it. Not fun. Sadly, I just learned that Third Eye Blind is going to be at Emory that same day and I could have gone to a free concert with Amanda instead of running lights and sound. Oh well. Can't have everything.

Anyway, I'm going to kill some time before dinner. Hope ya'll aren't bored!
Smeagul

"Sing, swing; Savour the sting; As she severs you, Madame Guillotine..."

Tue, 06 Oct 2009 21:26:04 GMT

AHHHHHH!!!

SO MUCH TO DO!!

I gotta go to Walmart. Five minute trip that takes about an hour because I have to go by the shuttle schedule. It seems like everything is running out and I'm out to the store to make sure I don't get caught without anything important. Like, y'know, soap.

I gotta read three articles for Psychology and write a response to it. We're learning about Social Giftedness now. In particular, we're focusing on Leadership for the next seminar.

I also need to transfer all of my History study guides into note cards, because I need a better method of studying. I completely failed the last one I took. Mostly because I was tired of flipping through pages of study material and reading paragraphs of information. Ew. Got a quiz tomorrow, again. Friday is the mid-term. So the flash cards will help for studying for that.

May or may not show up at Emory tomorrow evening. It depends on what I need to write my response paper for Theatre on. If the paper is due before Our Town shows, then I need to catch the Mrs. Julie show at Emory or find another suitable show to watch. I don't want to miss the pizza party tomorrow, though. But, if it's going to affect my grade, then I have to miss it. *pout*

Can't wait for the weekend!! Four day weekends rock! Yay for Fall Break!! I might look in to going to Georgia Tech for a day to see Kurt and his new girlfriend. Rikki said something about hanging at his house, at some point. That might be fun.

On the 17th, I get to work Mr. Oxford! Yesssss! I'll probably have to teach a freshman how to do it. Ick. Why can't it be like last year when no one but me was interested in doing any of this!? Well, actually, no one is. It's the new lady that works in the office (My new "boss", who's still in B-school. Not cool. She doesn't look a minute over 23.) who wants to have everyone included. Boo.

Anyway, I'm going to play Crash Bandicoot on my PSP until the Walmart shuttle starts.

Talk to you later!
Smeagul

SPOILERS

Sun, 04 Oct 2009 02:05:47 GMT

If you guys ever plan on playing Final Fantasy VII: Crisis Core (and possibly even Final Fantasy VII), you probably don't want to read this. I need to rant.

Also, if you haven't played either game, you probably won't be interested. ^_^

****

Yes, I just finished playing the part where Sephiroth finds out who Jenova is, goes crazy, sets a town on fire, beats up Tifa, Tifa's dad, Zack, and finally gets thrown into a mako reactor by Cloud (whom he stabbed). And I blame Zack.

Yup. You "heard" me. I blame Zack. If it weren't for his tragic flaw, Final Fantasy VII wouldn't have had to take place. His tragic flaw? Blind obedience. Never once does he question his orders. Perfect SOLDIER. Bad hero. And all that honor he keeps talking about? Doesn't make any difference when he does anything Shinra tells him to do.

Everything at Shinra is falling to pieces around him. Genesis goes AWOL with a bunch of other SOLDIERs. His mentor, Angeal, even deserts. The director was funding research with embezzled funds. The scientists are creating monsters from mako and then releasing them into the world. Even Sephiroth says he might not stick around (FORESHADOWING). Does Zack ever question anything? Nope. He runs around wherever his superiors tell him, never once asking "why?" He even conveys frustration over it when he's talking to Cloud.

Good intentions don't always lead to good things.

For instance, he goes to check on the "Wonders" of Nibelheim for a kid in the street. (If one even bothers on this side quest, of course.) He's used to taking orders, so why not, in the name of SOLDIER honor, do what the kid asks? One of the "Wonders" is noises coming from the basement in the Shinra mansion. So Zack goes to check on it. Finds that there are coffins down there. He goes to open one of the coffins and hey, there's a guy sleeping in there! (VINCENT VALENTINE!) Instead of waking Vincent up, he just leaves the guy in the coffin. I don't know about you guys, but if there was someone sleeping in a coffin in the basement of an abandoned mansion, I would at least ask him if he was okay.

Had Zack woken up Vincent, instead of letting him sleep for seven more years, there was a possibility that Vincent could have said, "Sephiroth? Oh, you mean the kid that my 'girlfriend' produced? Jenova?! No way! His mom's name is Lucretia!"

Granted, it's not every day a guy meets a dude that's been sleeping in a coffin for about twenty years, so maybe I can forgive Zack this.

BUT, I cannot forgive this:

Just because Sephiroth asks to be left alone, Zack says, "Sure thing!" and leaves Sephiroth to go crazy in a basement. Even Cloud (CLOUD!) notices that there is "something wrong with Sephiroth." Zack just shrugs it off, thinking, "Eh, he's Sephiroth. He can handle the knowledge that he's an experiment-- 'not human' or as Genesis says (pushing Sephiroth further towards the edge) 'the perfect monster.' Besides, even though he's supposed to be my friend, he's also my superior, so what he says goes!"

Zack is a bad friend.

A good friend would have gone in (not leaving the guy to go crazy for SEVEN DAYS) and said, "Hey, you alright? Let's go somewhere that's not a basement filled with reports on crazy experiments. In fact, since we finished the mission, let's just get the hell out of here. This place has weird people sleeping in coffins! I here Costa del Sol is a great vacation spot!"

Is it any wonder Sephiroth sets the village on fire?! He's been struggling with what he thinks is the truth, the "truth" that he's been looking for all his life, and it drives him to the ultimate edge of sanity. He thinks his mother is an alien, thinks he's part Ancient and that all humans are traitors to the planet, and that he should go "rescue" his mom's head from the reactor they've been keeping it in, and then take over the world, because those stupid "humans" are messing it all up.

Yeah, Sephiroth burned the village. Yeah, he hurt a bunch of people. However, they're people he now believes are the enemy. He thinks that getting rid of these people are going to be good for the planet. He was doing the same thing when he was still the General of the SOLDIER army, only now, he isn't taking orders from a filthy electric company. I'm not saying that he's not responsible for what he did. I just want to point out the different perspective:

It's not "Good vs Evil." It's the Planet versus Jenova.

So while most people will tell you that Sephiroth is the villain of Final Fantasy VII, I will tell you that it's Jenova. She was the enemy 2000 years ago when the Ancients sealed her away and she's the enemy again. Only, in Final Fantasy VII, she's using whoever has her cells. The only person left with that description? The clones of Sephiroth that Hojo was trying to make. The real Sephiroth isn't encountered until the North Crater at the end of the game. And he's had some time to get stronger and more angry at those humans for fouling up his mother's plan. Seven years is a long time to crawl deeper into madness. By this time, Jenova has her claws deep in her "son."

So, who was it that let this all happen? Zack. Zack could have stopped it if he had just gone against orders. Sephiroth wouldn't have gone insane in the basement, Jenova would have stayed in the reactor, Sephiroth wouldn't be hibernating in a crater, and Hojo wouldn't be trying to make clones out of Zack and Cloud.

End rant and spoilers. ^^

*******

I'm nearly done with the game and I'm going to replay it on Hard mode when I get the New Game+. There's a lot I never got to finish that I want to. Like, I only got to 30-ish% of the missions (maybe a little more by the time I finish the game), and I was unlucky enough to miss a few side quests and such. Anyway, I need to start my Psychology!

G'night!
Smeagul

"Someone has to strike a pose and bear the weight of well tailored clothes..."

Thu, 01 Oct 2009 21:46:41 GMT

So, guys. *suggestive nudge* How you doin'?

I'm doing super.

Yup.

I've got a new obsession.

I've always loved reading the Dresden Files and so I was really excited to watch the 12 episodes they made for the television. There are a few differences, which is fine for me. Not the same media. They can take a few liberties. My favorite part is that they changed Bob from being a simple air elemental- a spirit of intellect- into the ghost of a necromancer who was bound to his own skull for the rest of eternity. He's got the same personality- snarky bastard who's a bit of a pervert- only now he's got a "body" and an angsty past. Perfect, right?

It gets even better.

So, I was reading fanfiction on Livejournal in the community called Skull Boy Love, which, if you can't guess (I'm betting you can't guess), is a community for the Bob/Harry pairing. Anyway, point is, I found out that they guy who plays Bob is pretty big in Broadway.

Yup, here's the even better.

He can sing. Really well.

So, I spent an extraordinary amount of money (according to me) on the soundtracks to The Scarlet Pimpernel and Beauty and the Beast (which I've always wanted, anyway). I also bought three songs from a version of Les Miserables, just because he's beautiful as Javert. *happy sigh*I've decided that now I need to see The Scarlet Pimpernel, because it's amazing. His character is a lot like Javert and all of his songs are amazing- Passionate and powerful.

(Funny how I always listen to the soundtracks before I go see the shows and not the other way around...)

Not only does he do Broadway, but he's actually read a few audio books. I've heard that he's got an excellent reading voice and that he really gets into his characters. I'm going to listen to The Last Juror, which is by an author my mom has been trying to get me to read forever.

It's been a while since I've had an obsession. The Sims 2 came close, but wasn't a full blown case. I actually can't remember what my last one was. Gambit, maybe? Wow, that was a while ago. It just feels so nice. I'm glad to have the feeling back. It's almost like being in love.

Anyway, I need to get to Walmart so I can do my Anthro Lab and books III and IV of the Aeneid.

Talk to ya'll later,
Smeagul

"Where's the girl? Where's the girl with the blaze in her eyes?"

Thu, 01 Oct 2009 14:03:18 GMT

*Reset button*

This is a test of the emergency broadcast system...

Thu, 01 Oct 2009 03:16:29 GMT

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"Carried away by a moonlight shadow..."

Sun, 27 Sep 2009 22:11:20 GMT

This weekend has been pretty fun.

By weekend, I mean Friday.

I got out of class on Friday, went to work, and did the handing out Ox Studies tickets at the lunch room. Didn't really eat much. Not in the mood. I'm really tired of breakfast. It's the same thing everyday. And lunch was just gross. Anyways, since the guy who is supposed to work at the same time as me didn't show up, so I was stuck in the lunch room until I had to clock out. I walk across campus to the office (I miss when it was right across from Lil's.) and clock out. Wm (apparently the shortened form of "William," not Bill) is there, so I talk to him for a little bit. I love Wm. He's such a cool guy. His class is really entertaining. (He teaches Theatre 101 and I worked for him last year and this year again)

So, I clock out at 1PM and the bus to go to the big campus leaves at 2. I'm supposed to get on that one so I can get to Emory before Amanda has to go to work for a meeting. So, I'm getting ready and I've got everything...except my phone. I couldn't find it anywhere. I walked around campus looking for it, looked in the lost and found, asked the police if they had found it, nothing. So, the bus is here and I've got to go without my phone.

Normally, this wouldn't be a problem. Except that my computer is dying, my PSP isn't turning on (battery died), and the shuttle drops us off at a different stop than usual. I don't really know my way around campus and Amanda isn't there waiting for me and I couldn't tell her where I was. So I wondered for a little and found a bus to take me to Clairmont, where Amanda lives. I manage to get on facebook long enough to send a message saying where I am. I wait there for a while, try going to her apartment. No one is there. So I get back on the bus and take that back to the stop. No one there. So I get back on the shuttle hoping that we'll meet at some point. Not going to happen.

I stop in the SAAC and plug myself in and Amanda has sent me a message saying to wait there until she can come rescue me at the end of her meeting. Which she did. So all ended up being well. We got to her place, watched an episode of Supernatural and made some orange and chocolate scones. Yummmmy. We ate them while we watched some episodes of Coupling, for those of you who don't know, this is the British version of Friends and it's much more hilarious and awesome. For example, Jack Davenport is the main-ish character. You know. That sexy Commodore Norington from Pirates of the Caribbean. Jeff is the best. He's so funny and messed up.

I introduce her to the Dresden Files. We watched the first two episodes of that. We went to the SAAC for dinner and got really good subs. We went back to her room to eat and watch some more. She shows me a bunch of trailers for games on her PS3 and then we watch another few episodes of Supernatural. I was planning on going back on the drunk shuttle at 2AM to get back at 3AM, but instead I just spent the night. I had to get up at 10AM (she got up at 8.30AM o.0) and get ready to go back to Oxford. We got brunch at Einstein Bros. MMmmmmmm.

All in all, I would say very successful trip to Emory. I get back to Oxford at 1AM and look for my phone frantically. I found it snuggled into my bed. >.< I took a shower before I got my psychology stuff out to read, but I'm having trouble focusing on the text. I'm so tired. So at 3PM, I try to take a nap, at 4PM I fall asleep, at at 5PM I need to get up to go to dinner. It picks this time to start pouring. I sit with my roommate and her friends. Sara handed Mischka a piece of orange and both my roommate and I say "You don't want to catch scurvy!" We both look at each other and then Jessica says, "There's a reason we're roommates. No scurvy in our room!" The guy next to Jessica is like o.0

I finally get back to doing my Psychology, when my partner Ricky texts me to come meet him in the JRC and we can read together. He can't leave until 1AM because he's on RA duty. So I get over there and get settled, when Candice comes to find me. She needs someone to listen and she missed Lil's so we go to Applebee's. We talk, have some good food, all that stuff. I come back to the JRC and Ricky and I finish reading, then start making up discussion questions for when we have to lead discussion on Wednesday.

After that, I'm watching some boys play root beer pong in the lobby (it was a hall program) and playing on the computer. There's a cute baby opossum outside that I made friends with through the glass door. Ricky is playing Magic with some other guys. It's really loud and I'm really tired, so I go back to my room. I manage to play an hour's worth of Crisis Core with eyes that are beginning to look bruised. I fell asleep at 2AM. Got up today at 2PM.

Guess I needed the sleep.

I'm feeling really odd today. Like I'm not all there. I kind of sense it even in my writing. It's just "I did this and this and this" and it's really all blah. Nothing special. Huh.

I had an orange for breakfast, since I missed brunch. Colored my hair. It's pink-stripey now. Did some laundry. Went to dinner. Had a sandwich. Nothing good in the hot line. Talked to Candice, who sat with me. She was going swimming after dinner. Time seems to be running away without me. It's 7PM and I haven't done anything it seems like. I've got to read the first book of the Aeneid. I've also gotta read and write the response for Psych for tomorrow. I need to focus, but I'm having a hard time. I figured writing everything down would help, but it doesn't seem like it has. *shrug*

Anyhow, sorry for blathering on about nothing. I don't blame ya if you didn't read this crap.

Love, Smeagul